Ask any affiliate owner and they will tell you that one of their biggest daily challenges is convincing people that they can do something when they believe they can’t.
Ive always believed that I can coach people much better when I get them thinking the right way and I can only do that when I truly understand them. I am obsessed with trying to understand human behaviour and having been in this industry for nearly 23 years, constantly learning and developing my understanding, there are some fool proof ways to change someone’s limiting beliefs so they can smash though barriers that they previously felt were unachievable. As I have helped so many people in the past in this regard I tend to attract those that have found it difficult to change how they feel about a task or event in their lives. Indeed, I get the most fulfilment in my work when I help someone change something they want to change about themselves but don’t quite know how. When someone comes in, scared to death of a boxjump or a snatch and I can turn them around into absolutely loving it, there is no better feeling in the world for me. It can literally raise people to a new level of accomplishment in their lives and that can transfer into any area of life. Changing someone’s limiting beliefs is not just about training, its about examining what you believe about yourself and identifying how it has been holding you back in life. Once you know this then we can develop a strategy to overcome the problem.
Beliefs are the force that guides you to pleasure and away from pain. They are a feeling of certainty about an outcome. For example, if you say to yourself ‘Im no good at maths’ then you’ll act accordingly and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you have a reference (a memory) when someone told you, you were no good at maths or compared to others you felt you struggled or you’d previously failed a test you felt you should have passed then you experienced pain. Emotional pain and you’ll be more inclined to shy away from it in the future. We can use these references to challenge the belief. If you say to yourself ‘life is hard’ do you think that impacts how you view and act in all of life? You bet it does! If you had the belief that ‘life was a beautiful dance’ then that would be a much more empowering way to live your life. So if you change your limiting beliefs, you change your life. Forever.
People generally lie to themselves. Not to be dishonest but to protect themselves from pain. By saying ‘Im no good at burpees’ lessens the intensity of the emotional pain attached to them when you do it. There are more empowering ways to look at burpees and that will improve your performance with them! Personal beliefs are the story you tell yourself that guides you towards pleasure and away from pain.
In order to support any belief you have (positive or limiting) it must have references that support it. You can liken it to the belief being a table top and the legs being the references (memories) that hold up the table top. You can have a few legs and you can have many legs, it all depends on the quality of those references. Some references, you will have attached much deeper meaning to them. For example if your parents told you were no good at something, that cuts deep and is called an emotional anchor in your belief systems. They are harder to break but not if you know how…
The question is, which one of your beliefs is a true belief, if any? If you question any belief enough you will create doubt in it and it will lose strength but the quality of the questions means everything to whether or not you are successful in smashing those beliefs. If we really searched we can find a reference to back up almost anything you want. You can give any belief legs, and if that is true then you can also create questions which shake the foundations that your table top is built upon. We can also find others that will either question our belief or back it up!
Some of the most successful people in history have followed a belief that has absolutely NO references. Consider Steve Jobs, he had no idea, no memories or references that his iphone would become such a success but he believed. Having a belief without any reference legs is called faith. Faith is a conviction that you’re right, that it’s the right path, even if you can’t yet justify it
How to change a belief?
All personal breakthroughs start with a change in beliefs. It just doesn’t happen with it. The very best way is to, firstly, realise that we all have limiting beliefs. Even the most courageous visionaries do. Secondly, we must create doubt and like I said earlier, if you question anything enough, you will create doubt. Start to create some empowering questions and not disempowering ones. For example, instead of saying ‘why am I so slow?’ Instead ask, ‘what can I do to get faster?’ People are generally kept in the trap of asking poor questions to themselves. And as the saying goes, ‘ask and you shall receive’ is completely accurate. Ask poor questions you ill get poor answers. Your brain will answer anything you ask of it so if you ask, why am I so slow’ your brain will find references to back it up! If it can’t find references you will search other areas to find them! Crazy eh?! By asking the very best questions you can create the very best answers.
WRITE DOWN 3 LIMITING BELIEFS YOU HAVE ABOUT YOURSELF.
UNDERNEATH WRITE ALL THE REFERENCE LEGS THAT HOLD THE TABLE UP.
CREATE QUESTIONS THAT UNDERMINE THE LEGS OF BELIEF.
CREATE EMPOWERING QUESTIONS THAT CAN SHATTER AN OLD BELIEF.
Here are some empowering questions that will go a long way to smashing the table legs of reference.
How is this belief ridiculous?
Did this belief come from a reliable source?
What will not letting go of this belief cost me emotionally, physically, financially or in relationships?
The power of belief is incredible. Installing empowering beliefs in people that are otherwise disempowered/disenchanted or imbibe poor beliefs can transform their lives. There is an educational story of a teacher teaching a group of young students who were all ‘average’ grade students but she started to treat a few of them very differently. She claimed they were geniuses and spoke to their parents of their talents. These children started to believe and started to work harder and better as a result! They started to embody their beliefs. Conversely and often in society and families, the opposite is also true. If children or adults are told they might not be so clever or quick, they form limited beliefs that impact their whole lives in the most negative way. Remember, there are two types of people in this world, those that build others up and those that try to bring others down in order to raise themselves up. We should always hold ourselves to the highest value of integrity to stop these poor beliefs from forming in the people that surround us and ourselves.
One of the very best way to maintain a new belief is by associating pleasure with it! You can do this by again, asking the right questions to get your brain to give you the right answers.
What can I gain by changing?
What will changing do for my relationship?
What is great about changing this limiting belief?!
If you do nothing else except to investigate your limiting beliefs from this blog then I hope this will give you some light that you can absolutely change something about you that might be holding you back. Sometimes it’s hard to see for yourself what your beliefs are so talk!! Ask others, ask a best friend, someone older or an expert? They might just give you the right information for you to start to change your life.
You can achieve absolutely anything, as long as you allow yourself to believe.